Here at the Arctos Briar Division strive to provide the highest quality of pipes, pipe tobacco, and accessories to ensure that any man who tries one of our products is determined to be a pipe smoker for life!

Included here is one pipe smoker starter kit. By now, our patented smart memory chemicals implanted in these instructions will have given you the basic knowledge to smoke your first pipe like a pro, right out of the box! Simply let instinct guide you, and those hands of yours will do the rest. We here at Arctos pride ourselves in making our products so easy to use, soon you won’t be able to imagine life without them.

If you’re still resisting, you’ll be happy to know our smart chems have also begun training your nervous system to develop the nicotine habit of a long-term, heavy smoker. We guarantee that any reservations you have about your starter kit will soon seem secondary to the shaking, burning need in your gut for your first breath of smoke. The chems will continue to foster addiction in your system, so the longer you resist, the greater your need will be when you do, finally, succumb. Don’t forget, as with any Arctos product, we’re proud to state that any customer dissatisfaction with our products is always temporary.

The smart chems in the pipe you can’t stop yourself from smoking now will, at this point, have begun the process of reshaping your mind and body into that of a proud, pipe smoking bear. The arousal you’re likely feeling is natural–after all, why smoke if the mere taste of smoke isn’t enough to make that hard cock of yours rigid in your Arctos brand Carpenter Jeans (order SKU 96571) or Full Figure Overalls (order SKU 92638)? You’ll be glad to know that your pipe starter kit comes with a collection of coupons we’re sure you will be needing soon enough. One in particular we’d like to draw your attention to is a free pipe starter kit you can send to the person of your choice!

Doesn’t that sound fun, daddy bear? Go on, keep stroking, thinking about turning that friend of yours into a big, hairy, bearded pipe smoking bear like you are now. We’re even happy to throw in one pipe tobacco flavor upgrade of your choice for free! Want a young, submissive cub willing to serve you all day long? Try Cub Cut (order SKU 34865)! If you’re tastes run more along full figured fellows, then we’d suggest our Pig Plug (order SKU 35109). 

Included is the full Arctos catalog for you to peruse while you keep jacking off, thinking about who you’d like to receive your complimentary starter kit!

As always, thank you for choosing Arctos Industries for all your lifestyle needs! We’re happy to have provided you with this 100 percent satisfying experience, and we look forward to your future orders.