“Come on, bro, get off me–I’m late for my fuckin’ class…”

Jared pushed mah head up, ‘n I moaned–how fuckin’ much did I fuckin’ drink last night? I mean, I ain’t no stranger tah hangovers by any fuckin’ measure, but this one was like someone had dropped an engine block on my noggin. Beside me, Jared gets up and stretches, givin’ his big jock gut a nice scratch,’n then heads fer his room–in front a me, the TV is still on, but unlike the night before, it ain’t holdin’ mah attention–just a fuckin’ rerun. I know all these Mechanic Stars episodes by heart anyway.

I haul mahself outta the deep indent in the couch, but it seems a bit…harder than it should be, fer some reason, ‘n give a good belch, mah gut rumblin’ when I do.

“Nice one, bro!” Jared shouts from his room.

“Plenty more where that shit came from, trust me–’n git a load a this!” I hike up a leg, give a shake, and pop outta fart fer him too, hearin’ ‘em chuckle as he’s gittin’ dressed. “Fuck, what fuckin’ day is it, anyway?” I mutter.

“Tuesday–don’t you have work, bro?”

Fuck, Jared’s right–I gotta be at the shop in a few hours. Still–first things first, gotta take a leak. I heft myself into the bathroom, stand in front a the toilet ‘n let loose, the sharp stench a beer piss in mah nose, ‘n I grunt. From the sound a it, I’m gettin’ most in the bowl at least, but I ain’t never been one tah aim real good. Doesn’t help I can’t fuckin’ see mah cock either! I give it a shake, and go to back out, when I see mahself in the mirror…’n I freeze.

I freeze ‘cause the fucker I’m seein’? That ain’t the fucker I ‘member bein’ the night before.

I mean, sure, I remember mahself good enough. Three hunderd pounds a beef right there, huge fuckin’ gut, hefty moobs, covered in a whole lotta fur. Fat jowly face with a big goatee–same style as Mick on Mechanic Stars, cause he’s mah favorite–shaved head too. I see all that–I know that’s me, but at the same fuckin’ time, I know it ain’t right, but I can’t pin down why I fuckin’ think that!

“Make way bro,” Jared says, and squeezes past me to the toilet, adding his own load a piss on top a mine. I wanna ask ‘em if he…thinks this is right. I mean–he’s the one in college, right? Not that he’s smart ‘r anythin’, he’s a meathead jock, really, but I’m dumber than he is.

“Jared–is there…do I look right to ya this mornin’?”

“I mean, ya could do the world a favor and take a shower, but you’re the same big pig as always, Mike.”

“Yeah, but…coulda sworm I was…that we was…”

Jared finished pissin’ ‘n squeezed back past, my cock doin’ a little throb when his gut slides by. “Sorry man, gotta go. If I’m late to class again, they might kick me off the team.”

“Yeah, sure–a’ight…”

Mah belly was growlin’–I never can think ‘bout shit on a empty gut. I git in the kitchen ‘n cook mahself breakfast–Jared eats a bit and then runs out the door, wearing his usual grungy looking gym gear a ain’t never seen ‘em wash in his life. Still–smells damn fine. So does breakfast–might feed a regular family a four, but I sit down at the table ‘n inhale all a it by mahself, lean back and let out a long belch, feelin’ a whole lot better. Still, I’m havin’ a hard time shakin’ the feelin’ that somethin’ just ain’t quite right ‘bout all a this, ‘n I try ‘n think back tah the night before.

I swear I was studyin’ shit, ‘n then I got sucked intah that marathon a Mechanic Stars…Yeah! ‘N when I got home yesterday, Jared was zoned out too, in front a the fuckin’ game! Did…did the fuckin’ TV do this shit tah us?

I hear a click, ‘n the sound a the TV flippin’ on all by itself.

“Think we have ourselves a smart one in here, don’t you Mick?”

I know that voice–it’s one a the mechanic stars! I look out at the TV, ‘n see Mick ‘n JD from the show on the screen, just…starin’. Starin’ at me.

“Have a seat, Mike.”

Their voices ain’t right. They ain’t got the drawl they usually do. I should run, but instead, I waddle back intah the room and sit back down on the couch.

“Yeah, there’s the stupid fucker, look at the fucking slob.”

“Keep your eyes here Mike–we know what you want–what you like to watch.”

The two mechanics turned tah one another on the screen, ‘n started makin’ out, sloberin’ all o’er each other’s fuckin’ faces, greasy hands, grubby clothes, ‘n I can’t fuckin’ tear mah fuckin’ eyes away. I feel mah cock throb again, ‘n reach into my nasty boxer shorts tah start strokin’ it, mouth open, drollin’ intah mah goatee.

“Yeah, I think the pig likes it, don’t you Mick?”

“Of course he likes it–he’s just a stupid, disgusting mechanic pig like us–what else could he possibly be?”

“Probably spends all night slobbering over that sexy jock roommate of his, begging him to fuck his dirty piggy hole with his cock, smelling his old jockstraps while he jacks off.”

There’s….somethin’ in mah hand. I bring it tah mah face, ‘n sure ‘nough, it’s one a Jared’s rank jocks. I take a long snort a his musk ‘n feel mah cock start leakin, I shove the thing in mah maw and start suckin’ on it.

“Yeah, that’s a good piggy–give in. Let yourself go. TV knows what’s good for you, TV knows what you are. You’re a nasty fucking piggy, and you’re happy as can fucking be.”

It’s true, it’s all fuckin’ true. I can feel those old memories just drainin’ out mah head, I’m so dense anyway, can’t remember much shit at all! I’m fuckin’ close though, strokin’ hard suckin’ on Jared’s jock ‘n sniffin’ mah filthy pits–mah cock explodes all over mah thighs, ‘n I’m pantin’ ‘n huffin’, sweatin’ all o’er but feel so fuckin’ good…

Then I look ‘oer, ‘n see Jared in the doorway–must a fergotten somethin’–yeah, fergot tah fuck his pig, a course! Fuck it if he’s late fer class–he knows he can’t leave wit’out plowin’ mah shit hole!