Oh man, when I look back, I mean, there’s just one thing I can’t believe–I was such a drag man, just a total lame ass motherfucker. I mean, look at that, look at that saggy fucking body–that used to be me, before I learned how to have fun. Damn, it’s so lucky that I found that self-help program online, because man, that helped me turn into the fun guy I am now.

I mean, the first thing I learned–and I learned it real quick, was that one of the best fucking ways to have fun is to work out. I didn’t believe it at first, and I mean sure, it was hard work too, especially when I first started out, but pretty soon, fuck I was having so much fun at the gym! I mean, it was getting to where I didn’t want to leave some days, I’d just keep working out the whole time.

And jobs–fucking jobs, am I right? So not fun. Man, I quit mine, I mean, sure, I had to find some kind of income, but luckily the program hooked me up with this real fun fucker. I just live with him now, and he pays for my gym membership, and he taught me so many other fun things! Fuck, like how much fun it is to look like a freak, and get yourself tatted and pierced, fuck–I’m gonna get my whole body done eventually, I can’t fucking wait. And man, I have so much more fun now that I’m dumb as a fuckin’ brick. I didn’t need those fuckin’ brain cells anyway, they were just holding me back.

But you know what’s the most fun of all? Sex. I fucking love sex. I’m a fucking addict. Think you could fuck me with this dildo while we keep talking? Man, that would be so much fun. Come on, I you look like a total bore. I should give you a link to that website–I think that would loosen you up good. Just think, before long, you could be having as much fun as me!

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