Yeah, your uncle’s been playin’ guitar a long time–hell, longer than you’ve been alive!  I’m surprised you never asked, but why would you be interested in an old rocker like me? So what, this some college band you’re thinking of joining? Well sure, I can give you a few lessons, at least get you started off on the right track. Now let me just warm up here for a bit–I haven’t played in a while.

“Hey nephew, you ever hear about somethin’ called the brown note? Oh, South Park did something about that? Huh, who woulda thought. I heard a tale about some bass player–he was fussin’ with his sound so much, he dropped the pitch so low he gave everyone at the practice session the fuckin’ runs!

"Oh you wanna know why the guitar ain’t makin’ any sound? Ha, trust me, it is. You look horny nephew–maybe you should take out your cock and stroke it. See, I never did find the brown note, but I did find the lust note–makes everyone who hears it horny as fuck. Get over here ‘n suck your uncle’s cock boy. We have all afternoon to practice, and you have lots to learn.