Martin groaned as the alarm went off, and he fumbled with his phone for a few minutes, until he managed to get it swiped away, and his bedroom went quiet again. January first–time to try again.
It was a tradition at this point. For the last five years or so, Martin had made the same resolutions to himself in the New Year–to lose weight, and get in shape, and start going to the gym. When Martin had been younger, in high school, he had actually been a decent athlete–playing football in the Fall, and wrestling in the Winter. He hadn’t been particularly good at either of them, but he’d enjoyed being fit, and he’d liked the camaraderie of the sports. In college, however, he’d fallen out of practice, and when he had, the weight started piling on. He hated it, the flab around his waist that seemed to expand a bit more each time he weighed himself, but no matter how hard he tried, he’d never managed to get back into the habit of going to the gym.
Sure, some years were better than others. Two years ago, he managed to keep it up for a couple of months, and lost ten pounds. Then, a business trip had unraveled his habit, and in three months he’d gained everything back, and then even more. It was discouraging, and this year, he wasn’t feeling it at all. Maybe…it was time to give it up for good, and just accept that his athletic years were behind him for good. He grumbled, refusing to give in that easily, and got out of bed.
He made a protein shake, and it was terrible. He couldn’t find his gym shoes. His shorts didn’t really fit anymore. He looked like a fool. There was no way he could do this–maybe tomorrow. He could buy some new gear today, he could…he could just forget it entirely. He heaved a sigh, took off the tight clothes, and went back to bed–where a strange, golden envelope was waiting for him on his pillow. He picked it up and tore it open, and read the note inside.
Well Martin–we’ve decided that this year is the year that you finally make good on your resolution, and we’re going to help! Who are we you ask? We’re a very special organization, called New You Resolutions. We make resolutions easy! We’ll handle all the planning, and make sure you have the motivation and desire to make your fitness goals a reality for good.
Now get those clothes back on! Here’s your first resolution:
— I resolve to go to the gym every single day, for at least three hours.
Have a good time! We’re rooting for you.
Martin scoffed at the note, tossed it in the trash, but instead of climbing back into bed, he grabbed the shorts off the floor and pulled them back on, and the shirt as well. Confused, and a bit freaked out, he got his shoes on, and he was out the door, and on his way to the gym before he could really comprehend what was happening.
And once he was there, he couldn’t stop. The best he could manage was a short water break when he absolutely couldn’t handle the thirst anymore. At the end of the third hour of the most intense workout of his life, all he could do was lay down on a mat and pant, legs and arms trembling, until he could finally manage to stand, and hobble his way out of the gym, and back to his car, and then to his apartment.
He didn’t understand how that had happened. He had to use the rail on the stairway to haul himself up to the second floor, because his legs refused to lift high enough on their own. At last, he was back inside, collapsing, crying from the pain–and then he saw it. Another golden envelope, just like the first. He tore it open, hoping it would provide some answers–but it didn’t. It just had more awful news:
That looked like it was a bit rough, Martin. Do you know what you need? You need a trainer! Lucky for you, we have just the fellow in mind. Pack a bag of gym clothes, because you’re moving in with them, starting today! They’ll take good care of you–and we’ll have a few more resolutions ready for you when you get there.
So who is Martin’s personal trainer going to be? Use the poll below to vote, and patrons can find their bonus poll over here!