A Study in Flannel (1 of 2)


“Hello, Wallflower.”

“Yes, I’m talking to you. Did you think no one had noticed you in here? Everyone’s been talking about you, but everyone gets talked about, their first time in Pigtown. Everyone wants to know, who’s that handsome young man going to be, sipping that beer all by himself against the wall?”

“If you really want to hide that blush, you shouldn’t turn away–just grow a better beard, Wallflower.”

“Wallflower, everyone can tell that you’re trying to. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? Look at you–we all know what you want to be. Those jeans, those boots, that…*sigh* flannel shirt. Flannel, such a tired fabric, but it means so much to all of us here, I suppose. No one wants to hear The Beatles, but everyone knows the words when it come on. We all know what you want.”

“Don’t be coy with me–you know what this place is. I know how far the reputation of my bar spreads.”

“Oh, you just now noticed that facial hair of yours? I know I suggested you grow a beard, but that flush in your cheeks is too cute to hide just yet. Shame about the color though…”

“A mirror? Right over there, Wallflower. Go take a look?”

“Not too bad, eh? That mop makes a pretty good flat top, I have to say, and you’re filling out that flannel of yours nicely. How’s that cigar taste? Heh, looks like you hadn’t even noticed it. Big package in the front of those jeans daddy, you’re filling out nice and thick, just how we like them. Still, as handsome as you are, I’m afraid you just don’t quite fit our theme tonight.”

“Didn’t you notice? Second Friday of every month is the hoedown! Got dirty fucks coming from five counties to have some fun around here. Don’t worry, we can get you all fixed up here in a jiffy–won’t take much more than a few tweaks, and you’ll be feeling right at home.”

“Don’t shake your head at me! Don’t you understand the importance of theme nights? Honestly, it’s like why keep a calendar at all, if men can just show up and be whoever they want to be. Now hold still, Wallflower–let’s rip some seams.”

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