Snake Oil (1 of 2)


“Dude, you know everything they sell at the fair is fucking snake oil.”

“Well sure, but the guy gave me a sample for free!” Nick said, holding up the little bottle. “He even gave me two, when I said my friend might want to try it.”

“Seriously? I don’t want to try that shit,” Anthony said, “Come on man, can’t we just work out, without another one of your get big quick schemes?”

“Come on man, just give it a try with me. What’s the worst it could do? Not work?”

It took a few more minutes of cajoling, but Anthony finally relented, and together the two of them drank down the oddly creamy liquid in the two bottles Nick had gotten from the man at the fair.

“So, what’s it supposed to do exactly?” Anthony asked, running his tongue around his mouth. It hadn’t been a very pleasant drink, that was for sure.

“He just said to take it before working out. It apparently gets triggered by exertion, and your body kicks muscle growth into overdrive or something. He said one dose would be enough to see a result, which is why he’s giving out samples.”

The two of them started their routine, and after a few minutes they were both sweating and panting in the hot garage, but rather than feeling energized, both of them were starting to feel a bit winded. They couldn’t keep up their usual pace, and after twenty minutes, they stopped for a break.

“Fuck, I feel something alright–that drink didn’t do anything but make me feel weak.”

“Hey, I’m sorry man,” Nick said, looked over at his friend, but something seemed…different about him. His muscles a bit…smaller, and his gut was sagging slightly. “Uh…I’m gonna go get some water.”

“Whatever, I’m gonna take a sec.”

Nick went inside and to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and his stomach dropped to his feet. Something was happening to him too. His arms and chest were losing mass, his gut growing–but worse, his beard was turning grey, and his hairline was receding.

“Uh…Nick? Nick! What the fuck is wrong with me?”

He didn’t know–but he did know he had a bone to pick with that fucker at the fair.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.