Your eyes flicked to the clock on your computer screen–its been 45 minutes? How…how could you have been staring at this photo for 45 minutes? Especially considering how the faceless pic is most definitely not your type, with the huge belly hanging distended over the waistband of the huge pair of jeans barely held up by a set of braces. It was part of an ad on Craigslist–you’d never actually called anyone–you mostly went on there for laughs, right? I mean, you weren’t actually…thinking about calling him, were you?

You read the advertisement again. You’ve read the short message written in all caps so many times now you’ve memorized it, but you read it anyway: “OBESE MASTER SEEKS SLAVE. MUST BE WEAK WILLED. CALL 555-253-6535 IF YOU CAN’T HEP YOURSELF.” Fifteen minutes later, you’re calling the number, begging and pleading him to let you come worship his massive frame. He gives you an address, and you leave, forgetting your phone and keys–you aren’t planning on coming back.

You never did notice notice that the picture was a GIF, did you?