“A New Coaching Position” Part 1 of 5

Comfortable? Good. Now, before we start, there’s a little story I like to tell everyone on their first night with me. Don’t worry, it won’t take lnog–then we’ll get down to business.

I was a coach for the local college football team. Now, this was years ago now, I’m honestly not sure–at least a decade now–dang, I can’t believe it’s been that long. My wife had left me a few years before that, the first year our son had gone off to college–a different one than where I’d coached. He was away for the first semester of his senior year when I got this email with a video attached. It showed my son, strapped down in his football uniform, a gas mask covering his face, and then the camera panned around, and I watched as some masked man fucked my son’s ass until they both came.

It was horrible. I don’t know why I watched the whole thing–I only watched it once though. The email had come from some…organization. I still don’t really know what it is, and I’m, well, we’ll get to that part later. Suffice to say, seeing my son like that, what could I have done? Of course I agreed to their demands, not that it would have made much of a difference, looking back.

They wanted the football team. I still don’t know why, but they wanted the entire football team from my school, and they needed a coach–someone the guys trusted, to help them, and I, apparently, had been the easiest target for blackmail. I’m not proud of everything I’ve done, I’m really not, but I did have my reasons, however bad they were. I just wanted my son back, you have to understand that, you would have done the same thing if you were in my own position, right?

Vacation / Life Update

So, I just had my last night at the doughnut shop (naturally, on my last night of work, I make more doughnuts in a single shift than I have ever made before–over 150 dozen doughnuts–blarg). Self-employment, here I come! I’ll be managing the catering business my husband and I run, and have more time for writing, hopefully. But before that, this next week my husband and I are off camping, which means I will be away from tumblr and email for the duration.

That said, you all will still be getting your porn fix. I’ve gotten quite a few photo submissions from all of you the past few weeks, and five of them actually came together to form a story in my head. Monday through Friday you’ll be getting the five parts of that piece, called “A New Coaching Position”. There will also be a story next Saturday.

To anyone looking for a commission, or who wants a status update on one I’ve taken, I won’t be able to get back to you, so don’t think I’m ignoring you. I’ll get back to you next week when I return, and have lots more time for writing on my hands.

Thanks to all of you for reading, and I hope you’re enjoying the new schedule/fairly constant stream of content.

Are you a goofy goober?

Umm…Hmm…

Literally, no. I am not a funny peanut.

Narrow scope, no. I don’t identify personally as a goofy goober. However, wide scope, as urban dictionary says:

Anyone and everyone, we’re all Goofy Goobers. You may think you’re all sophisticated and cool and have nothing to do with “Goofy Gooberness” but on the inside you’re a kid and one of the many Goofy Goobers around the world.

From this, we see that whether one self-identifies as a goofy goober is unrelated to true goofy gooberness. The fact that the set of goofy goobers includes the set of E(x) & A(x) where x is a person, then to deny that I am a goofy goober would require that I not be a person. However, I am a person. Therefore, by RAA, I must be a goofy goober.

I think I could give expanding it a shot, got any suggestions/ideas regarding where the alternative story could go?

You mean this alternative? http://www.cyoc.net/stories/stories_cache/chapter_58828.html

Well, There’s a lot of places to go from there, I suppose. Isaiah’s already changed, and Mark got a taste of it, so he’s going to be changing too. Here’s a few ideas, I guess.

CJ escapes and drags Mark out with him, and as they’re driving Mark starts changing. CJ has to try and get his friend under control, but Mark wonders what CJ might look like as a redneck.

Or, CJ returns to the store front to find Mark already changing. At that point, Mark and Isaiah might be pulled into the family, maybe as brothers/lovers, and CJ is turned into their son/cub.

Those are a few ideas at least, but I’m sure you have a few of your own as well.

Metawriting #6: On Suffering

So, here’s the question I received last week that I wanted to answer:

“Why do you think it’s so important for your characters to suffer?”

Now, to start off with, I don’t think this is ‘really’ the question they wanted to ask. Still, I’ll answer it as it is first, and then try and parse out the more interesting question it implies. So, why is suffering important? The first answer I could give is simply that characters have to suffer. It’s true for all fiction—stories require conflict, and that conflict begets suffering—it’s the fundamental ingredient of stories. Suffering is the vehicle through which characters grow and change, if we tried to remove it from our stories, then there would be nothing holding our interest or driving the story along. Suffering is what makes characters sympathetic and relatable; it’s the glue that holds characters together over time, linking their first entrance to their final conclusion through their change and growth.

Still, that’s a pretty boring answer, isn’t it? Besides, the way we just talked about suffering was rather broad, and I don’t think the questioner meant it broadly, so here’s a second, (but equally unsatisfactory answer, I think) if we focus in a little more. I often tell people that I write horror stories, which simply tend to have lots of (very, very gay) sex in them. Indeed, much of the inspiration for my stories came from horror and thriller writers like Stephen King and Robin Cook. The suffering in my stories is a particular kind of suffering—it’s suffering-unto-death (Now, not death per se, but radically changing an individual’s personality/memories/minds is philosophically identical to death; go read Part Three of Derek Parfit’s Reasons and Persons if you want a good argument for why). But again, this form of suffering is intrinsic to the genre we’re discussing. Part of what makes horror stories horrible is the threat of death and suffering, so again, there is no real interesting ground to be broken here.

So, the question, as written, appears fruitless. Stories have suffering because that is what makes stories compelling; horror stories like mine have physical suffering and death because that is what makes then horrible. Now, here’s the question I think Anonymous really would like me to answer, which is not about the importance of suffering, but about the eroticism of suffering. After all, suffering in general, and suffering-unto-death are hardly new or strange ideas to writing, but when we eroticize it, some might have the intuition that there is something immoral about that act. How do we reconcile the fact that suffering is wrong, with the fact that we find suffering erotic and pleasurable, either at a immediately or at a distance?

Well, there are three justifications most stories use. The first is revenge, the second is sadism, and the third is masochism. In the first, the victim deserves it, and because they deserve it, we are free to enjoy it as contrapasso. In the second, the victim does not deserve it, but the perpetrator is evil, and we are free to enjoy the eroticism of his evil act at a pornographic distance. In the third, we experience the suffering as the victim, allowing the perpetrator to commit the suffering upon us, thereby releasing him from the moral burden of inflicting suffering upon someone unwilling.

Still, this dodges the question. The justifications we use are merely a second order concern—the first order question is simply, “Why is suffering erotic?” The justifications might make us feel better about these stories, but don’t answer the underlying question, which I honestly can’t answer well. As far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t have an answer. Why do we find anything erotic, really? Who could even begin to parse out the psychological and historical drives which compel us towards one sexual proclivity or another? The justifications above are in place protect us from the realization that what we desire and sexually enjoy comes at the (albeit hypothetical) cost of others’ autonomy and self-determination. Every story where characters suffer unwillingly and the reader receives erotic pleasure from it is a rape story—there’s no other way to parse it. I understand that. I embrace that, reluctantly. I’m not comfortable with it in every way, and I have some problems with it reaching out beyond the virtual or fictional and into the real, which is why I write stories, and have some personal issues with RP and acting out some of these drives in real life. Of course, that’s just me, other’s are free to do what twiddles their fancy provided it only comes at the cost of their own autonomy and no one else’s (ala John Stuart Mill’s On Liberty).

As a writer, though, understanding and employing these justifications do more to determine how a story will take shape than most anything else. When I consult someone on a commission, the first thing I usually try and figure out is what sort of justification he uses, himself. Does he want a revenge tale? Does he want some master to kidnap him and inflict the change on him personally? Does he want a more traditional, sadistic horror story, with an unknowable, unstoppable villain pursuing the innocent? These three forms help comprise the backbones of the genre—ignore them at your peril.

Not a question. Just a tip. Go see this is the end. Lets just say Channing tatum in all leather as Danny mcbrides sex dog. Leash and all. I’m scarred and aroused at the same time.

I’ll take that under advisement.

Obedience School

Warning: contains castration. If that scares you consider yourself warned.
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Alright, it looks like your favorite from last week was the rubber puppy, so here’s some more pupslave training for you. Hope it isn’t too hard to read—these vignettes give me a chance to try out some new techniques.

Make sure you vote for your favorites! Go back through this week’s photo captions and give your favorite a like or a reblog, so I know which one you all want me to expand.

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You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy horny rubber—-

puppy slave…You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy—

No, No I’m not—I’m not it’s a lie, I know it’s a lie but why can’t I remember…why can’t I remember my own fucking face?

horny rubber puppy slave… You’re a—

I was human I know I was human…No not was, am human I am human present tense, fucking present tense Spike, come on, and my name wasn’t Spike it was…it was…

happy horny rubber puppy—

I can’t remember, why can’t I remember? What the fuck have they done to me here, why can’t I remember my own fucking name, or my fucking face, or my family, just my masters, oh fuck my fucking sexy fucking masters I hope they play with me today I hope they want to play fetch and dildos and fist and fuck and fuck and let me lick them and fuck and suck their big cocks like a good happy horny rubber puppy slave yeah fuck love my masters love them so much!

slave…You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy—

Got to get a hold of myself, I’ve got to hold on, I can’t lose control like that, not anymore, it’s so damn hard getting it back I have to think I have to remember that they did this to me they forced me to be like this, in this fucking suit, God if they would just turn off that fucking voice for a minute, if I could just have some fucking silence for once I feel like I could get myself together, but how long now? How fucking long have I been listening to this? I don’t even know how long I’ve been here, I lost count so long ago I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve lost count…

horny rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave—

What did I look like? What do I look like under my face I mean my mask no their mask, not my mask not my face I have to remember this isn’t me I’m not a fucking rubber puppy I’m not their slave I’m not but God, if I’m not that…if I’m not that then what am I?

You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave—

I was human I was human like the masters love my masters—No, not again but I was, wasn’t I? But then why can’t I fucking walk like them? Why can’t I understand them anymore? I could, I remember I could but now it’s just gibberish mostly, did they do this to me? Did they make me unable to understand them or am I just deluding myself?

You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy—

I can’t speak either, but do I need to speak? Barking is good enough to get their attention, when I need food or play, yeah play I love playing playing so much fun like fetching dildo which one I want up my doggy hole feels so good feels so good to be fucked fisted make puppy so happy make me so happy to get fucked by masters love masters love so much serve masters master’s puppy slave master’s happy horny rubber puppy slave I’m a happy horny rubber—No!

horny rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy horny rubber puppy—

Why does this feel so good?

slave…You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy horny—

It does feel good, really good, I wish my puppy cock could get hard…

rubber puppy slave…You’re—

No, I don’t have a puppy cock, I don’t…do I? I don’t…I don’t know anymore. Tell yourself the story, remember what happened, that’s the best way. At the dog park, I remember the dog park, running around sniffing the other dog’s butts yeah love sniffing butts felt so good to be outside wonder if masters will take me outside again sniffing butts before yeah letting other dogs fuck me yeah fucking just a beta have to let others be in control just a puppy slave everyone above me weak obedient love to be fucked feels so good…

a happy horny rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy horny rubber puppy—

Masters found me I was stray they found me and like good masters they adopted me they love me but I not good dog I think I alpha but I beta but I just slave so need obedience school need to be obedient need to learn tricks like fetch like dildo love dildo love fuck fuck feel so good love feel masters fuck my butt hole love licking masters’ cocks love being good dog love being obedient pup love being slave being slave feel so good rubber feel so good love being rubber pup love rubber love fuck love play love masters—No fucking No! No, you know what they fucking did to you you know what they did they’re fucking monsters fucking masters no masters fuck me yeah fuck their rubber puppy hard fuck him good good puppy love being fucked by masters and dildos…

slave…You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy horny…

You know what they did, you know what they did the bastards I can’t believe they did that to me but I was a bad puppy I tried to escape very bad dog yeah such a bad puppy slave I deserved it I deserved it I deserved it I was a very very very very very very bad happy horny rubber puppy slave very very very…

rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave—

I can’t believe they did it, I just can’t…neutered me, they cut my fucking balls off I can’t…I can’t believe they actually…I didn’t deserve it, I deserved it no I didn’t do as they told me I was a bad puppy and bad puppies can’t keep their balls they said bad puppies lose their balls and have their cocks locked away and can’t get hard ever again and bad puppies need extra obedience school until they stop being bad puppies and stop thinking so much and just love masters and love play and love fucking and love dildos and love sniffing butts like good puppies I’m going to be a good puppy going to be a good happy horny rubber puppy slave for masters show them I can be a good dog good dog yeah good dog for masters I was bad puppy very very very very very very very very bad puppy yes I was I deserved it masters say I deserved it so I deserved it and easier now yeah easier to obey less resistance less thinking necessary helps me be a good happy horny rubber puppy slave stop thinking stop worrying…

You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy horny rubber—

So tired of fighting why am I even fighting anymore?

puppy slave…You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy…

What has fighting ever got me other than neutered I can’t believe they actually did it I thought they didn’t mean it how could they? I was human like them I was! I was! I had a face and a name and a family and balls and now I’m just a neutered beta rubber puppy slave yeah like I deserve to be like my masters want me to be I wonder if we’re going to work on that new word later that word ‘fist’ I like ‘fist’ make my hole feel so good when master say ‘fist’ since puppy can’t use cock ever again I’m going to be ‘fist’ pup they say but need lots training need to take ‘two fist’ wonder how that will feel so good because masters want it because masters say so but big dildos first seen the big dildos they will feel so good in my puppy butt can’t wait can’t wait gonna feel so good…

You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave…You’re a happy horny rubber puppy slave…

Need to be good pup from now on tired of thinking thinking is exhausting thinking is bad I know that stop thinking stop hating masters masters know best masters always right I deserved it I deserved it was very very very very very very very bad was worst puppy could be but will be better masters will be better I promise will be very good fist pup for you will make you so happy so proud no more fighting pup promise no more fighting fighting too hard…