“Uh…Alex? Where are we?”
Kevin had set up in bed, only to find himself staring at a rather unfamiliar wall. It was not the wall of the condo that he shared with Kevin, most certainly. The room was…smaller, for one thing, and outside the dingy window–much smaller than the large ones he was used to–were the sounds of songbirds, not the usual call of city traffic below them. He got up and looked out the window, and found himself looking out the side of a small double wide, set down on some property in a mobile home park, and beyond that, woods. This was not the city anymore.
Alex had left the bedroom and gone into the rest of the small house, and came back. “This…isn’t where he live, how the hell did we get here?”
Kevin looked around and spotted the envelope on the dresser. He tore it open, and read it aloud:
We here at New You Resolutions feel that, given the current lifestyle you two are enjoying, your current residence and former employers were not the sort best suited to two men like you. With that in mind, we feel it would be best for the two of you to relocate. As you can see, we took care of moving you while you were sleeping. I’m sure you will both enjoy your new residence much more. Here, as well, are a couple of resolutions to help you settle in:
— We resolve to behave, act, and speak like two men who have been poor white trash all their lives. We will speak in a heavy drawl, and by next year we resolve to completely forget that we had ever lived in the city at all.
Given the fact that your prior possessions, savings, and investments are currently being liquidated for use by the New You Corporation, it is rather important that each of you acquire a new means of employment. Not to worry, New You Resolutions has already matched each of you with a great employer–and each of you has an envelope of your own to ease you into your new positions. You start today though, so you’d both best be on the road as soon as you can.
P.S. Remember, all of your other resolutions still apply! We’ve updated your gear selection to be a bit more rural–more leather and industrial rubber, less spandex and latex since that no longer is the sort of thing a couple rednecks like you will be wearing.
“There ain’t no way they coulda moved us all the way o’er here without us…” Alex said, and then slapped his hands over his mouth. That…was not his voice–how in the hell had that happened?
Kevin didn’t really want to try and respond, and hear what he might sound like as well. Instead, he handed Alex one of the smaller notes tucked into the first card, the one with Alex’s name on it. Kevin looked at his own, and they read them silently. Here was Kevin’s:
Kevin, you are going to be working, from now on, as a long haul trucker! No need to worry–as an owner-operator, you’re your own boss, and New You Resolutions will be sure to supply you with regular work. In addition, you have a few new resolutions:
— I resolve to stop at every rest area when I drive. I will not leave until I have either had sex with another man there, or until I have drank a load of piss from another man there.
— I resolve to have a smoke fetish. I chain smoke cigarettes or cigars in my truck. The sight of another man smoking is irresistible to me, and I will feel compelled to try and have sex with them.
Alex’s note was as follows:
Alex, you are going to be working as a mechanic from now on! We’ve taken the liberty of getting you a job at Mick’s service station down the road. No need to worry, Mick’s on our team, and he’ll be more than happy to help you satisfy your sex quota while Kevin is trucking. In addition, here are a couple other resolutions for you.
— I resolve to start smoking, along with Kevin, though my fetish will not be as strong as his.
— I resolve to have a grunge fetish. In particular, I love coating myself in oil and grease before jacking off or having sex. From now on, the only lube I will use during sex is engine oil.
Alex looked up, and Kevin was already getting dressed, though he was struggling a bit as well. He tugged on a pair of filthy jeans, a wifebeater, a leather vest, a trucker hat, gave Kevin a pitiful look, and then left. Outside, his cab was parked next to the double wide, and though he’d never driven anything like it before, it came naturally to him, and he was off down the road. He didn’t even notice the cigarette in his mouth until he was a few miles off–he couldn’t even recall lighting it, it felt so natural, and the taste of the smoke was getting him hard as a rock. Thankfully the first rest area came quick, and he was compelled to pull over, and start cruising for dick–it didn’t take long for him to strike up a conversation with another trucker on a smoke break, and take him back to his cab for a blowjob. Then, he was back on the road.
He picked up his load a little before noon, and then he was off–two days there, and two days back. The rest areas all blurred together. At night, in the back of his cab, he’d smoke and jack off, thinking about Alex, and shoot a load all over his little mattress, and then pissed on it too. At least it would smell like home soon enough. Four days later he was back home, finally. Exhausted, he pulled in next to the old pickup Alex drove, went inside, and found him there on the couch, watching TV, his cock soaked with motor oil, slowly jacking off and smoking a cigarette at the same time.
Alex’s first work week had been just as eventful. He’d pulled on his filthy coveralls and work boots, along with a leather cap, and then driven over to Mick’s garage to meet his new boss. True to New You’s word, Mick was just as filthy and greasy as Alex and Kevin, and the two of them wasted no time getting to know each other in Mick’s filthy office, before getting to work. Alex was a natural, and by the end of the night, exhausted, he’d agreed to go out with Mick for a night cap–and they’d ended up at the little porn shop, getting their greasy cock’s sucked off in the gloryholes by who knew who, and then gone home. Alex arrived back, took out a cigar and started smoking it, noting all of the ashtrays that had appeared around the room, and figured there was no way out of this new habit either.
They were so relieved to see each other, that Kevin hoped right onto Alex’s greasy cock and rode it, both of them sharing smoky kisses while they fucked for the rest of the evening, and then for the rest of the weekend while they were at it. Then, come Monday, Alex went back to the garage, and Kevin drove off again for another long trek.
They fell into a routine easily enough. They would force each other to talk about their old lives, just so they could hold onto them, but more and more often, they were forgetting details, entire histories, and finding them replaced with all sorts of lewd tales of their time here in the trailer park, and in the small town they were on the edge of. Mick would come over with some regularity and they would all play together, or head over to the porn shop to suck and fuck at the gloryholes. It was a few months more before the next envelope arrived, signalling another round of changes:
Now that your sex lives are much more interesting, we feel like the two of you could use a little more character as well. Besides, like they say, opposites attract, right?
Inside the card was a pill pack, with a green pill and a red pill, and directions for each of them to take one–but nothing about what the pills would do to them. Alex took the red one, Kevin took the green one, and they swallowed them together–wondering what the company had in store for them now.
Alright, so this poll is a little odd. Below, you’ll find a list of opposite qualities. The ones that get the most votes will have the most extreme changes. So, for example, if Hairy—Smooth is the top result, one character will have a full pelt, while the other won’t have a hair on their body. Changes in the middle will be less extreme, and changes at the bottom of the rankings will be left out, or the characters will both fall on the middle of the spectrum. As for which quality affects which character…well, that’s for me to decide! You pick the intensity, and I’ll figure out how to apply them. You all have three votes, and Patrons have their bonus poll over here!