Caption: A Real American Pig

Thanks to PatchPig for the photo and inspiration for this one.


Bernard had lived in Britain all his life, but for years, he’d wanted to cross the Atlantic to visit the United States. He loved American movies, loved hosting American tourists–there was something about the place that felt so much more free than the stodginess of London where he’d always lived. Finally, at last, he’d saved up enough to afford a good long vacation–but when it came time to decide where to go, he was a bit…lost. The place was so damn big! New York? DC? Hollywood? In the end, he decided to chance it–he threw a dart, and it ended up in a state called Kentucky. He booked a flight, rented a car, and figured he’d spend the month driving around the states, and just seeing what he found.

Kentucky wasn’t quite what he was expecting, in all honesty–but it wasn’t necessarily bad, either. His accent drew a lot of odd looks, and he had a hard time understanding what some of the Americans were even saying too, but he was determined to enjoy himself. This, he thought, would be more authentic–not like the cities. Get to know the real America–if there was such a thing anywhere.

The deeper into the state he went, the more suspicious people seemed towards him. The funny jokes seemed a bit meaner, people were little more suspicious of him, though usually lightened up quickly when they saw he had money to spend, and he was beginning to wonder if he’d made a bad decision after all. At least, until the night at the little truckstop on the highway, where he stopped to get a room for the night and a meal–that ended up changing everything.

The guys in the bar laughed at him, when they heard him talk. Told him he sounded like some uptight rich fucker, just because he had a british accent. They told him to skip the beer for a moment, and have a sip of Jeb’s moonshine–an old fucker in the corner, who shoved a mason jar of clear spirit into Bernard’s fist. The guys all told him to drink up, and Bernard gave into the pressure–but he didn’t remember much that happened after that. In fact, Bernard never left the bar–the guy who stumbled out of the motel at the truckstop the next morning wasn’t Bernard at all.

Bernie knew something was wrong, that something had changed. These weren’t his clothes, he hadn’t been this fat, and his accent was all wrong–he was talking like these American hicks, not like where he’d come from. His wallet was gone, as was his car–he had nowhere to go, so he ended up moping in his hotel room–though he took a quick jaunt over to the shop at the truckstop, and used a little cash he found on the nightstand to buy some cigarettes and cheap, American beer.

Already a bit drunk, when he saw that the same guys had gone to the bar that evening, he demanded to know what they’d done to him. The guys all jeered at him, told him he just needed a good girl to help sort him out–but Bernie told them he was gay, and that he wanted them to put him back the way he was before all of this, or else he’d get the police. Things in the bar quieted down after that, at least until the guys pinned the faggot down, forced some more moonshine into him, and took turns fucking the pigs holes.

Bernie still lives at the truck stop. He pumps gas, cleans the showers, and sucks any man’s cock who needs it. He’s too stupid to think about much, but on occasion, he’ll look at his slobby mug in the filthy mirror of the truck stop, plastered with cum more often than not, and try to remember a voice. A voice he’d had–but one he’d lost forever.

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