I fell pretty neutral on bodybuilders as a general concept, and skinheads are–well, they’re a bit difficult to read and write at the moment, honestly, with rising tides of fascism. Not all skinheads are fascists and nazis, obviously, but it becomes a bit difficult to see where one ends and the other begins with some folks on here, and that makes me hesitant to utilize them. But I cross lines in my stories all the time, of course–that’s why I consider them, primarily, horror fiction before I really think of them as erotica. But it’s…exhausting, honestly, trying to find all the boundaries (both my personal ones, and larger social ones) between irony, fantasy, authenticity, the taboo, and the fetishization of forces that want to kill us at the end of the day, is such a painful task, and one that can hurt me, and others, if done wrong.
Because I don’t want these stories to hurt people. Make them horny? Of course. Make uncomfortable? Sure. Scare and terrify? Sure. But hurt and injure? Not what I’m aiming for, and so I’m going to avoid those things that I don’t feel like I have a good enough grip on to walk that line.
I struggle with other areas too–redneck and rural stereotypes, for instance, are becoming difficult for me to deal with in some ways. I don’t know if I can go so far as to say it’s “bad” to write this or that, because I’m pretty sure that, at the end of the day, most of what I write is “bad”, but for me, it’s also necessary to write it, for reasons that I can certainly rationalize, but which don’t lie within the realm of rational thought (if that makes sense). I can only write what I know, and what I enjoy–and at the moment, there’s a growing list of things I just don’t enjoy writing anymore, because I kind of makes me feel a bit sick. Skinheads are at the border of that. Racial change is definitely in that category. I can’t pretend those are universal “No’s” for everyone, just for me, personally.
Will I make stories about them again? Probably. I’ll certainly write something about it for someone’s commission, I just might not publish it.