It wasn’t the reply Nate had expected from the company, but then again, what had he expected? Why in the world had he written to them in the first place? He felt ashamed at daring to admit what had gone through his head to anyone, over the last few weeks, and now the same company which had cursed him with this fucking obsession was sending him a gift? He was sick to his stomach, when Paul came home from work to discover his husband in a fit of–well, Paul didn’t know what was wrong with Nate, but he was concerned. He hadn’t been sleeping well, and his mood–and appetite–swung wildly. On some nights, he wouldn’t be able to eat anything, and on others, he’d arrive home and find Nate laying on the couch, binging on snacks, with an obvious hardon in his underwear. That night, however, it was clear that something was worse–but like before, Nate refused to discuss it, and simply disappeared into their bedroom, leaving Paul to fret on his own while he prepared dinner for himself, his mind running through a whole list of worries. Still–what could he do, if Nate wasn’t willing to be open and honest with him? He went to bed late, and found his husband tossing and turning in bed, as had become common, the sheets wet with sweat, and smelling of cum. Disturbed, he decided to sleep in the guest room instead–at least that way he wouldn’t have to put up with it.
The next morning, Nate awoke late to discover that Paul had already gotten up and left for work without disturbing him. The night had been even worse than usual–it seemed like he’d relived the entire story from beginning to end in his mind, trapped in the horror, unable to wake up. He groped for his balls, and gave a sigh of relief when he felt them, and then looked at the rest of his body. He was normal–a bit worse for wear, after his sudden binging habit which had kicked in, but…himself. Why did that…upset him so much? He felt better, at least–more focused. Today was the day he’d turn it around, he decided. He’d put it behind him. He could do it. He wouldn’t worry about Arctos or their fucked up books anymore, and he’d be Nate–himself…right?
He spent the morning catching up on the household chores he’d been neglecting, and with a cleaner house, he felt cleaner himself–especially after a nice long shower. Maybe writing that letter had been what he needed to do–maybe just getting it out of him and admitting it had gotten him to a place where he could finally move on. It was around eleven that he’d gotten dressed and ready to run some errands–and get back to the gym, of course–when he opened the door, and found a large package on the stoop in front of him.
It couldn’t be–how had it gotten here so quickly? It must be something else he’d ordered from Amazon and forgotten about. He checked the shipping label, and sure enough, it was from Arctos–it was his gift. Throw it in the trash, he told himself, nothing this company sends you can be any good. He picked it up–it was heavy–and with a look around to see if anyone was watching from the neighborhood, he turned around and went right back inside, found a knife, and opened it up.
When he pushed aside the packing material from the top, he tried to scream but his voice was caught in his throat. It…it wasn’t real, was it? No–no, it was black, it didn’t look like flesh–he reached in and touched the thing, and while it was stiff, he figured it had to be rubber. A rubber cast of a pig’s head, hollow, meant to be worn as a mask. Just like…like the head the boy from the story had stolen from the butcher, the boar’s head he’d taken, hollowed out, forced over his own and then sewn in place. The boar’s head which had magically come to life–and beside it, two other things–a pigtail dildo and something that looked like a dildo, but wasn’t–he discovered upon inspection. No–the last item was…was meant as a sleeve for his cock, just like the boar’s cock the boy had skinned and sewn over his own as well.
It was a cruel joke, to call such a thing a gift, and yet, looking down at them, the feelings Nate had managed to quell for the morning roared back to the front of his mind. He…he wanted to put them on–there, he’d thought it. He’d thought about it for weeks now, about what could drive someone to do such a horrific act, and now, staring down at the rubber gear–he knew. He was in the wrong body–he wanted to be a hog, had always wanted to be a hog–he’d just never known how to articulate that desire in all his life, and this monstrous book had given him the language, and the need. Or maybe it was just a brief fascination. Maybe if he tried it, he’d see how silly he’d been and be able to forget it. He was already stripping his way free of his workout gear, and had the head out of the box, feeling the heft of it, imagining the weight on his shoulders.
In front of a mirror in the hall, he lowered it over his head, and it fit snuggly. It took him a moment to line his eyes up with the holes in the mask, but when he did, he let out a snort of excitement–there in the mirror was his body–his awful, human body–with a beautiful boar’s head resting on top, just like he’d always imagined, just like he’d always needed. He grabbed the cock sleeve and shoved his hard, leaking cock inside it, and then pushed the dildo into his ass, and started stroking, amazed he could…feel his hand through the thick rubber of the sleeve, but he needed this–he’d always needed this. In his mind he knew he needed to take the stuff off, that it was feeling…hot stuffy and sticky inside the heavy mask. But he needed this, as ashamed as he was. He needed this more than anything, and he could always take it off, right?
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