Unemployment sucked–there was no way around it, and Wade was getting restless. He had about a thousand dollars left in credit card wiggle room before he’d hit his limit for good…and he didn’t think that would be enough to even pay his bills this month. He needed some cash, and he needed it now–but this site–it had to be a scam, didn’t it?

It advertised that it was looking for healthy men who wouldn’t mind taking on a few of the site’s customer’s bad habits. Apparently it could break someone’s bad habits for them, but only by forcing that habit onto someone else. Still, the amount they were paying out was massive–one thousand dollars a month per habit, with a year lease on each habit required as an employee. Still, Wade was a healthy guy right? He could handle a few bad habits, and he was becoming increasingly desperate. Still, all he needed to take was one for the moment–so he signed up, was vetted by the company in a day, and received a special download for the program, opened it up, and the screen flashed with a dazzling array of colors, and then went black.

The company policy was to tell the habit takers what they’d received after they’d accepted the package, or else they knew people would balk and refuse. Sure enough, when he got the second email which told him he’d picked up someone’s massive binge eating habit, he didn’t think it was possible…until he found himself eating junk food constantly from that moment on. He had to eat–there was no choice in the matter, and his new habit quickly blew through half of his new paycheck, and he barely had enough left for rent. What choice did he have? He took on another bad habit.

The next one didn’t help his financial situation at all though–it turns out that a three pack a day cigarette habit is very, very expensive. The one he took after that was equally worthless–an alcoholics habit of drinking at least a twenty-four pack of cheap beer over the course of the day. He resolved to take just one more for a little extra spending money, and ended up a chronic masturbator, jacking off twenty to thirty times a day. By the time his leases were up a year later, Wade was close to 400 pounds, and he decided to keep the leases going in exchange for a wage increase. After all, what was a drunk, fat masturbating loser like him going to do for a job? He was stuck…but still, maybe taking on just one more could get him out of this rut…


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