OOOOORRRRR;

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Did you really…I mean…aren’t we all faggots here though?

I mean, there’s a very high probability that 99% of the people who read this are faggots? You are probably a faggot too! Hi faggot!

Doesn’t seem to have a whole lot of punch, does it. No real…impact, hmm….

Am I supposed to feel insulted? Did you have to think about that one for a while, to come up with that? Give yourself some time, there’s always next week. Maybe you’ll have something a but better than “drama” and “faggot” by then.

Look! You’re cool, you even came off anon! Glad you have a sense of humor, it’s healthy, keep being you! 

I appreciate the recommendation. I haven’t heard of “The Sound Machine,” but I’ll add it to my reading list. 

As for non-smut, I don’t write much of it at this point. Too much demand for smut. 

See? This is the thing you do! Right here! 

Does no one understand that I can only reply to these things? If you think the things I say are so annoying and bad, why are you engaging with me? 

Just think–if no one puts anything in my inbox for the rest of the night, I will have no other option but to be completely silent. You all have the power here. Thus, I can only conclude that if you all keep asking me shit like this, then all you want is for me to keep being a jerk to you online. 

Well, some people are into it, probably. I don’t kink-shame. Goodness knows, with the shit I’m into, that’s a really bad policy.

*Jiggles the bait a little more*

*Shrug*

Hold on a sec, and let’s flip this. What kind of person do you have to be to see a author who writes smut make a side comment about capitalism, and feel like you need to go out of your way to put a question in their inbox being super smug and condescending about it? I mean, why do that? 

Why do this, even? Why ask this thing up there? I mean, you clearly realize I don’t feel much shame about what I say on here. It’s clear I don’t have much tolerance for concern trolling or arguments about politeness or being personable. What exactly are you expecting?

You don’t have to respond to my weird comments. No one is making you put these things in my box. Why are you doing this? Why?

Have you considered that maybe I’m giving you what you want? That you want me to be rude, so that you can feel good about being a better person than I am? So you can unfollow me, or block me, but come crawling back to read my shit anyway? Let’s get brutal here, let’s lay the whole truth out–you know what my reply is going to be before you even send this.

Suppose, for a second, I responded with remorse. “Yes yes, you’ve shamed me, yes yes, I was wrong to say this shit that I said.”

Would you feel as good if I did? Would you feel better than you do now, smug in the satisfaction that you have the moral high ground here?

Why do I reply like this? Because this is what you’re expecting. This is why you say things like this. Here, maybe I can split the difference:

MY OFFICIAL STATEMENT

“Yes, I’m sorry to have offended anyone. I should know better than to try and get into complex linguistic and philosophical arguments with anons online, because they never end well, and I come off looking like a jerk, and no one wants to be seen as a jerk. Still, I can only reply to these things, and I swear to reply honestly to all of them. I can’t help it if someone is wrong, but perhaps, in the future, I’ll try to be more polite about it.”

There, do you feel good? I hope so. I just want you to be happy with yourself. That’s what everyone like you wants, right?

Yeah, that guy was an idiot.

Yes, actually.

I think plants experience pain, or at least, something if we were experiencing it, we would consider pain. I think the smell of freshly mown grass is the smell of agony.

At the risk of setting off another ask box fight, this is why I find compassion arguments for veganism and vegetarianism unconvincing. I understand that animals feel pain when they are killed for food. I agree that the conditions of factory farms are deplorable, and that we should minimize suffering and improve conditions of the animals we eat. However, I don’t think this is sufficient reason to not eat meat at all. 

The nature of eating is that we have to take energy and nutrients from other entities in order to sustain our own lives. I don’t think there’s a solid moral distinction that can really be made between the objective suffering of a plant and of an animal–subjectively of course, we experience them very differently, or rather, we don’t experience the suffering of plants at all. 

There are lots and lots of other reasons to be vegetarian or vegan. Meat production is a waste of resources and land, it’s bad for the environment, it’s expensive. But death and destruction is fundamental to all consumption, in my mind. 

But hey! I’m a weirdo who thinks jobs didn’t exist several centuries ago! What do I know? Don’t @ me.

If I knew, I’d book us a flight.