~~March 12th~~
Stanta had named them Big Pig, Little Pig, and Urinal, for lack of better names. He hadn’t been quite sure what, exactly, he was going to do with them all once they were at him house–in all honesty, he’d been more interested in keeping them out of the elves’ hands since they had seemed so interested in keeping them away from Stanta. The question then, was: Why? What in the world was so dangerous about two rutting pigs and a urinal in a messed up workshop that it had been worth locking them all up inside? He’d had a pretty good guess, after the first week–it didn’t have anything to do with what they were–it was about who they all had been.
Stanta, after all, had been recruited under rather quick and shady circumstances. It begged the question of what, exactly, had happened to his predecessor. Timmy hadn’t mentioned anything about him to Stanta, not that he’d really thought to ask much, either. In any case, he didn’t think he could really trust Timmy to deliver him the truth anyway. That meant he’d just have to try and figure out what happened himself–but thankfully, he seemed to have two eye witnesses right here in the room with him. Well, three–but Urinal didn’t have enough of a mind remaining to even try reviving. Whatever had happened to him, there was no fixing it. For the two pigs, however, there was hope, and after a couple weeks of research in the library he’d found in the house, he thought he’d give it a try.
All that was left, then, was to decide which pig he wanted to talk to first. Chances were, Little Pig was an elf. It was probably the elf who’s workshop had been boarded up by the others. Big Pig was a…bigger curiosity. Chances were, Big Pig was the previous Santa…but that brought up some concerns. If the last Santa came back, would he want his old position back? Stanta had read through the contract, and found that even if an old Santa returned, he wouldn’t have any claim to his old position–unless something happened to Stanta in the meantime, which made him unable to perform his duties. In any case, he’d need to be careful, but the risk, in his mind, was worth it. If he was going to figure out what was going on up here, he’d need the story straight from the Santapig’s mouth–assuming that was, in fact, who this pig was.
He grabbed Little Pig by the collar and dragged him over to a small cage, locking him up. Big Pig wasn’t very happy about that–but the fucker wasn’t ever very happy without a cock inside him. Still, maybe with more of a mind, he’d be able to control himself a bit better. Stanta laid his palm on the pig’s forehead, like the book had instructed, and felt the pig freeze. Stanta focused–it was a lot harder fixing things in someone’s head than it was breaking them, and he also didn’t want to fix too much. Still, he started unravelling the pig in him, letting the human surface again–and much to Stanta’s surprise, some of the man’s physical form began to revert as well. The full pig snout retracted until it was much shorter, with a mostly human mouth capable of speech, his trotters becoming somewhat functional hands, the bones in his body shifting until he could, with some effort, push himself up and balance on his back trotters. Big Pig shook his head, and looked around–then looked at Stanta. “Well fuck–guess that means I’m out of a job then.”
So that was one suspicion confirmed. Stanta shrugged, “I’d offer to give it back, but I’m growing a bit fond of it, I must say. The name’s Stanta.”
“Alright, and to what do I owe the pleasure? Last I remember, I was…it was Christmas? What year is it?”
“March, 2016.”
“Fuck, seriously? It’s been over a year? Those little, manipulative fucks!”
Stanta waved a chair into exist, behind Santapig, as he figured he’d be calling him from now on, and motioned for him to sit. “I think I’d like to hear your story, if you don’t mind.”
Santapig sat down, and crossed his flabby arms. “Yeah? But then you have to do something for me. I want you to find Claude for me.”
“Claude? Who’s Claude? Is that the other pig?” Stanta said, looking over at the small one squealing in the cage.
Santapig shook his head. “No, that’s fucking Marty. Do whatever the fuck you want with him…just don’t…let him fuck me anymore. I feel dirty enough already. No, Claude was my…Mr. Claus. They couldn’t just send him away, not as an immortal. So he has to be here somewhere.”
Stanta looked over at the urinal, another piece of the puzzle sliding into place. “I think…I may have found him already.”
Santapig followed his eyes to the urinal hanging on the wall, where the tail had reattached itself to the pipes in the walls. His eyes went wide, and he got up from the chair and went over to him. “No…No, it can’t…You can’t be fucking serious! Bring him back!”
He shook his head. “There’s nothing left. It was…messy, whatever happened to him.”
Santapig clung to the Urinal for a bit, trying to deny it, but…but he could tell. The face was featureless, but he’d rested his head on this chest enough times to recognize it, rubber coated or not. “You can’t trust them. Not for a moment. Not after what they did to me–to us. And him!” He said, whirling on Little Pig in the cage, “I want him gone. Dead, banished, I don’t care. He’s the one who did all of this, who started all of this. As long as he’s here, you’re never going to be safe.”
Stanta considered a moment, but told Santapig he’d wait until he’d heard his story. So they sat down, and he learned what had happened the prior years, ever since Marty had decided to take matters into his own hands and change Christmas forever. One thing Stanta knew, was that he wasn’t safe–not nearly. Especially with Marty here, and Timmy as head elf. The pig was right–he’d have to dispose of him at some point–but if Timmy still harbored feelings for him, then he might also be leveraged. In any case, he should try and make the first move. If he did nothing, then he’d only be playing defense–and the elves had proven themselves…rather capable of dealing with Santas so far. It was time for Santa Claus to be back in charge around here, and Stanta figured he was just the one to make that happen.
Bracken's Corner 