It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but now that he was here…Ethan was no longer so sure. He stood off to the side of the bar, trying to figure out how to feel less awkward. It was Halloween–there was no reason to be this awkward on Halloween! But this…it was different. He’d always wanted to come here–ever since he’d started college in this city a few years back–because even though he was a bit of a twink, he’d always had a thing for…Bears. Daddies. Chubs. He’d hooked up a few times before, but something about going to the bar, it had always felt a bit off limits for him, because he was so young, and thin, and hairless.
His choice of costume for the night wasn’t helping matters, he supposed. He’d decided to go as a strongman–wearing a striped singlet he’d found online, some bright red boots and a handlebar mustache he’d stuck on with spirit gum, along with a fake barbell he’d made out of styrofoam and cardboard. He wasn’t the only one dressed up by any means, and he certainly wasn’t showing the most skin, but he couldn’t help but feel…out of place, even though plenty of guys were smiling and complimenting and…and why couldn’t he just feel normal! He thought about getting a few more drinks, but he had to drive back to school. He sighed, and caught someone across the room staring at him. He was an older gentleman with a sizable gut, dressed in a tuxedo and a cape, with a large top hat on his head. He threw Ethan a wink, and then slipped away into the crowd–strange, but Ethan forgot it quickly in his pouting.
He thought about leaving but didn’t. The party grew rowdier, until the music died and the dance floor cleared. Curious, Ethan came to the back of the crowd to see what was happening. There, in the middle, was the man in the tuxedo he’d glimpsed–apparently calling himself Magic Max, with a magic show planned for the evening. Ethan thought it was silly, but everyone else seemed excited–he didn’t expect much until the magician boomed out his own name, Ethan Gallanger, as his first volunteer.
He didn’t believe it–how could the guy know his name? He wanted to shrink away, but his feet marched him forward instead, out onto the empty dance floor. “There you are Ethan! So glad you could join me for a bit of fun this year.”
The crowd clapped and cheered, Ethan went red in the face.
“I must say, I saw your costume earlier, and I was simply enthralled by your commitment to realism! That mustache in particular–it must have taken you months to grow it out like that.”
“I…actually, it’s…fake…” Ethan stammered, his voice amplified somehow, even though he couldn’t see a microphone anywhere.
“Oh nonsense, let me see that!” Magic Max said, and before Ethan could stop him, he grabbed the end of his mustache, yanked hard, and Ethan yelped in pain, feeling the hairs pulling at his skin, refusing to come away. “Looks real enough to me, now!”
Cheers and laughter erupted around him, but all Ethan could do was drop his fake barbell to the floor, and feel the mustache–his mustache–with both hands. Real…it was real! He looked at the magician, his jaw dropped low. “How…how did you do that?”
“A magician never reveals his tricks, Ethan. I think you dropped your weight there! Why don’t you pick it up–show us how strong you are. After all, you look a bit thin and scrawny for a strongman.”
Laughter again. Blushing, Ethan bent down, grabbed the barbell and went to lift it, but it wouldn’t budge. It felt like someone had glued it to the floor, and the laughter only got louder as they watched him struggle with it. But something else was happening, every time he tried to lift it up. He would yank on it, and the barbell seemed to yank back, pulling him lower and lower each time, until he finally gave up, unbent, and discovered that he’d shrunk.
He’d already been rather short at five foot seven, but after his struggle he couldn’t have been much taller than four feet, barely coming to eye level with the top of Magic Max’s full, round belly. The rest of him had grown smaller as well, making him look even weaker, even as the barbell had grown larger, now nearly twice as large as he could remember it being.
Max held up his hands for quiet, and the crowd obliged. “I’m sorry Max, but you gave it a good try–I know your lifting days are well behind you at this point. Hell, you have enough to worry about, hefting around that big, hairy gut of yours all day long, right, old man?”
What the hell was he talking about? He didn’t have a gut, and he certainly wasn’t old. Seeing the confusion on Ethan’s face, Max swung his cape over, and a large mirror manifested beside him, where nothing had been, moments before. There he could see exactly what Max had been talking about. Where before had been his slim, twinkish figure, smooth and somewhat muscled, he now had a massive, firm gut stretching out the singlet he had on. He grabbed it with his hands and shook it–it heaved around as a single, hard mass, like a massive ball he’d swallowed. On his much shorter frame, he looked like a ball, in fact–a very hairy ball. His hairless body was covered with fur now, bursting from the singlet at every chance it got. The only parts of him that were smooth were his face (aside from the mustache and a generous shadow of stubble) and much of his head, where his hairline had receded substantially, leaving him with a light dusting of grey hair in a horseshoe fringe.
“Let’s all give a big thank you to Ethan, for being our first volunteer of the evening!” Max said behind him, and gave him a shove. He had to struggle to stay upright, leaning back to counter the weight of his gut, “Now let’s see if we can find someone who might be able to get this barbell off the floor! We can’t just leave it here, after all.”
Ethan just tried to process what had happened to him…what he…thought had happened to him? It was suddenly a bit hazy, and hard to hold onto in his head. He’d been different, hadn’t he? He watched the rest of the show like it was a dream–but he had to talk to that magician again–he had to figure out how to get his body back.
Bracken's Corner 